Do you experience mysterious conversations with introverts? Here’s one from just the other day.
Jay and I were watching TV when a commercial came on promoting Charlotte, NC, as a tourist destination. Jay said, “Charlotte’s running an ad to attract tourists.”
Uh, yeah. That’s what it was about. Then I realized I was only hearing part of his conversation. The rest of the conversation was taking place in his head. I’ve been married to this introvert for over 30 years. I’ve finally learned to deduce what he’s really talking about but not vocalizing.
In this case, Charlotte was trying to attract tourists because North Carolina is being boycotted and losing business over its bathroom legislation affecting transgender individuals. So Jay’s one utterance was part of his internal conversation about the impact the legislation is having on the state.
Thank heavens I figured it out. I am not always able to do so. I am an extravert, by the way.
Here is my message for the introverts in this world.
“We cannot read your mind. Your conversations frequently take place in your head. And we can’t hear those.”
If you live with an introvert–particularly an extravert living with an introvert–you need to read one or both of these books.
“Introvert Advantage” Saved Me
As I mentioned above, I’ve been married to Jay for a long time–thank heavens. I attribute some of that success to reading this book, written by an introvert for introverts. The folks who recommended it to me said it’s also really good for extraverts to read. Boy, were they right!
When I read it, I was amazed that people think like this, as described in the book. Jay read it and confirmed that it captured how his introverted mind works. I had a couple of my introverted executive coaching clients read it, and they confirmed the same.
Read this book. It may save your marriage, a friendship, or your job. (Click on the image of the book to be taken to Amazon, where you can buy it in whatever format you like.)
Susan Cain takes a different slant in her book on introversion. She looks at introversion and extraversion from a cultural standpoint. The subtitle of her book is “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”–that sums up the book beautifully.
She includes scientific studies and research as she explores a world inhabited by introverts and extraverts. Her message is we all bring value to the world. (Click on the image of the book to be taken to Amazon, where you can buy it in whatever format you like.)
© Pamela A. Scott, MentorLoft.com, 2016