My goals in this post are two-fold: to help you improve your writing in an email and to show you how to give feedback to someone on their written product.
Here is an email a friend wrote and my feedback to him. It is a marketing message for prospective members of our Toastmasters Club. I’m using his email, with his permission, to share tips so you can improve your writing.
See if you pick up any editor tricks from seeing changes to the email. If you need help, email me at pam@MentorLoft.com or comment below the post.
I love the personal tone in this email. That will help connect with prospects. Very well done.
Here’s what my markups mean.
The line-through is editing to be more concise
The red indicates words I added, primarily to connect with them where they are—and for conciseness.
The yellow is for content you might want to change or drop out.
© Pamela A. Scott, MentorLoft.com 2016