what are good questions to ask

What Are Good Questions to Ask? Here Are the Best

What are good questions to ask? You get an A+ for even asking this question. Too many people today forget to think about their questions before asking them.

My list below highlights the 10 best questions that I rely on daily. Some may not be in the form of a question, but they keep the other person talking. That is what you want when you ask questions. You want people to give you information, share insights, or unburden themselves.

And if you’re an introvert, you want the other person to keep talking so that you don’t have to. Right?

How can I help?

I frequently tell my dogs–it used to be my kids–“I’m here to serve.” My reality is that I enjoy helping people. That’s why I use “How can I help?” so much. It opens the door to let the other person know he/she isn’t alone. Whether it’s giving an elderly friend a ride or reaching out to someone in pain, “How can I help?” will make someone else–and probably you–feel better.

It’s also a great question to ask a coworker who is under job-related stress. If you help him out now, maybe he’ll return the favor when you need help.

If I could wave my magic wand . . .

I frequently use this question to get people thinking, to help them get out of whatever rut they’re in. The full question is: “If I could wave my magic wand, how would the situation be different?”

Would you tell me more about . . .

When I don’t understand what someone is telling me, I ask, “Would you tell me more about what you’re thinking?” This gives me additional information that will hopefully get me on the same track as the other person. I usually shorten this to “Tell me more.”

what are good questions to ask

Where are you from originally?

This is a great way to open a conversation with someone you’ve just met or been introduced to. It gets the other person talking, and gives you a chance to listen for information for a follow-up question. Don’t overthink this; just do it.

Why do you do what you do?

This simple question often leads to you getting to know someone at a deeper level than you did before asking it. The question “Why?” just by itself is one of the most powerful questions you can ask.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Use “Why?” five times to get to the heart of an issue. The first two or three times you ask someone “Why?”, they give you top of mind responses. The fourth and fifth time you ask “Why?” the other person has to really start thinking. That’s where the gold is buried.

How would you approach this situation?

This question is perfect when coaching or mentoring someone before they start a project. Ask them this so you can hear what they’re thinking. As a supervisor, this gives you a chance to steer them in the right direction before they make a mistake.

What did you/we learn?

Ask this question when you finish a project and want to reflect on what you might do differently the next time around. It’s called lessons learned or after action review. The point to is to figure out what went well, what didn’t go well, and how you can do things better the next time. This is particularly important for a team that has finished a project. Take the time to debrief everyone so each of you is smarter next time.

what are good questions to ask
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What would you do differently?

This version of the previous question is used with friends, families, and loved ones. It causes the other person to think and evaluate what happened. I use this question to evaluate whether I’m happy with the outcome of a dinner, a trip, or a vacation. We recently spent a week in Hilton Head in a fourth-floor condo with a balcony overlooking the beach. It was within walking distance of restaurants, bars, and a grocery store. The condo was spacious, and we got lots of rest. My verdict: I wouldn’t do anything differently.

What do you think?

I’m sure that when I was a young professional I probably never asked this question. I have no doubt I thought I knew more than I did and that it was my job to come up with a plan. Fortunately, life has taught me otherwise.

It’s OK–actually better than OK–to ask others what they are thinking about a situation you’re dealing with. You ask this question of someone you respect and someone with knowledge to give you a good response. You don’t necessarily need to act on their recommendation, but at least solicit it and consider it seriously.

What are good questions to ask? Start with framing

From the folks at the Global Digital Citizen Foundation: “Learning how to ask good questions is a cornerstone of learning and living. It’s a practice we use every day. So much of our success in life depends on asking the right questions. So how do we actually do it? It’s easy when you have a solid process.”

See the infographic below and check out the full article. 

5-steps-asking-good-questions

What are good questions to ask your future boss?

 From The Mission, written by Marc Cenedella, founder of Ladders, a career site:

“An interview is actually about how you can help your future boss and future employer succeed. It’s about finding out what their requirements and hopes are and matching up your background and experience with what they need. . . . Here’s the twice-a-year update to my collection of ‘best interview questions.’ My aim here is to arm you with easy-to-ask, revealing-to-answer questions for you to take with you to an interview.”

Great questions–check them out.

What are good questions to ask that get answers?

Here’s a good primer on how to ask questions that get answers–open-ended questions. From the Art of Manliness.

“Initiating small talk with someone may be the hardest part of managing an interaction, but once you’ve taken those first few steps, your work isn’t yet done.

After exchanging a few pleasantries, your job is to nurture those first buds, lest they be struck with the freeze of awkward silence and die on the vine — killing a potential relationship before it’s even begun.

The best way to ensure your small talk grows into something more substantial is to ask the other person questions. And not just any questions: open-ended ones.”

What are good questions to ask your spouse?

Blogger Leslie Means writes: “I asked our writers to once again share their wisdom. Questions they ask their spouse each night or each week to encourage conversation. These are questions you can ask at the dinner table with the kids and some you can save for just each other’s ears.”
Pick the questions that will work best in your house. I found a couple that I think will work here.

What are good questions to ask? Get this book

 This book is awesome if you need help coming up with questions to ask in different situations. Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas are experienced and wise coaches who have helped thousands of clients. They are veteran authors. Do yourself a huge favor, and buy their book. You can click on the cover below to order it directly from Amazon.

 Feature photo by Jonathan Simcoe

 © Pamela A. Scott, MentorLoft.com 2017

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